When The World Cup Came To Manchester

Patrick Dennehy 55.

Rarely, if ever have sixteen symbols from the English Language meant as much to me, as the above sixteen did.

Because, after 6 long hard years, those symbols signified a pass in the law exam – NCTJ style! Bearing in mind, I failed both law papers twice whilst at uni, this is significant!

This particular statement on its tiny scrap of paper, meant even more because I left the exam thinking I’d failed.  And not in a “Oh god, I’ve failed, but I’ve really got 78% kind of way” more in a kind of “Oh god, I’ve failed, why didn’t I analyse that checklist more / not drink 4 pints of Guinness last night kind of way”

I actually opened the exam paper, looked at the first question and closed it again.

There were two questions I could barely answer and 1 which even the great DT described as something of a “curve ball”!! Guess that’s why you didn’t really teach Blackmail then eh Dave? Next time, imagine the NCTJ are Shane Warne. Ok?

So as you might have guessed last week was the real thing – week 14 and already into the real life of exams.

I feel like both PA and Reporting went well, but as Law turned out to be the opposite of what I felt, I’m hoping the same doesn’t apply to those other two!!  Surprised there wasn’t smoke coming off my keyboard in the PA exam when I saw two questions on council finance and one on elections! 

Of course I was too busy typing, to look up from my computer, look at the window, or look anywhere else, or at anything else for that matter............

Nervously waiting for the other results now, but the nervous energy is being channelled with feverish energy towards portfolio.   It’s like an episode of Blue Peter in 111 Piccadilly at the minute with the pritt stick being seized upon at every opportunity and people bemoaning their lack of straight-line scissor skills (me included).  Where’s the guillotine when you need one?

And not only can News Associates not afford fans (see earlier posts!) but they can’t afford a colour printer either.  Or even just one, single, colour cartridge maybe?

In amongst portfolio and feature deadlines we have the World Cup – a much more exciting event than some small football tournament which took place in South Africa over the summer.  This is THE World Cup – The Shorthand World Cup indeed.

However any excitement I may have had for this competition was swiftly extinguished by the dynamic skills of one Miss Connie Primmer who dealt me a comprehensive first round knockout defeat.  The only excitement left to me is watching the mighty, unstoppable (hopefully) John Dickens sweep all before him as I hand over more and more money to Dave Mayor turf accountant with each round that passes!

Come on John – do it for Blackpool, Leeds and Simon Grayson!!

Exams!!!

And so it is, looming large - the week of exams that will go a long way to determining whether or not I leave News Associates in January with my full complement of qualifications.
To be honest, it's the bit I've always dreaded.  After two attempts at Law and at PA when at university, I somehow had some kind of magical belief that things would be different this time. 
As it stands, I'm not sure they are.
I've currently failed both Law 'mocks' - although 47% last week gives me hope, if I can't somehow dredge up an extra 3% by Monday then, really, do I deserve to pass?
As for PA, I don't know what's going to happen there. I don't think many people in the class do either.  I don't think it's just me, that finds it rather strange that 4 days before the exam we're still covering the syllabus - I wonder if Libraries and the Police Force will come up as a question?
Yes, I know my politics, and as someone pointed out on Thursday if there was a Labour-Party module, or an anti-Tory-party module I'd probably ace it at 100%.
But unfortunately, even knowing that inside out will only get me 40 out of a possible 200 marks.
As for reporting, that will be down to how I do 'on the day' as they say. I know I can write, I know I can report.  I've been reporting since I was ten, and I passed the news writing exams before.  It's just a case of being uber-careful and playing 'a straight bat' as JT put it.
I'm not going to go into the ins and outs of the argument I got myself into in last week's 'mock reporting' exam but safe to say, I've yet to see a 70%+ answer.
Anyway, wish me luck.  Guess I'd better not miss church this weekend...

Don't we pay Paul's wages?

"I don't want to see you in here!" Thanks, Paul, great.  Feeling the love there mate.
Apparently News Associates have a new ethos: If you do well, succeed, and push on - you get penalised!

Why should we get forced out of the class and have the internet connection taken away, because we've passed shorthand early and no longer have to sit in the class?

We've all paid £3,300 for this course, we are entitled to use the facilities; for Paul to suggest that we should "buy a coffee" in order to use the internet elsewhere is a joke.

He's the one that has a small group left; they are the ones that should be in a smaller room, not us.

Get a grip mate, seriously. 

Apologies & Activism

Every edition of this blog that I write currently seems to contain the words “I can’t believe”; but really, I can’t believe that I’m 11 weeks in.  I can’t believe I’m writing shorthand at 110wpm. (Although John keeps challenging me and pushing onto 120!) I can’t believe that I have exams in 3 weeks.  And I can’t believe that in 9 weeks time I’ll have finished this course. (But can’t is different to don’t, so no,  I’m not Victor Meldrew!)

Last week I had a taste of the real thing – my first official crack at the shorthand 100wpm exam.  I think it went ok, despite getting a serious attack of the shakes about 30 words in and thinking I was going to collapse completely.  A beer at 11am has never tasted as good; PA afterwards wasn’t much fun though.

 I’m pretty sure it’s a pass and I’m just sat waiting now for the slowest markers in the worlds, The NCTJ, to post the results.

Bored has been the word for this week – ‘teacher with the spanners’ making us sit through the shorthand classes when most of us think we’ve passed, and then wondering why we’re talking and doing bugger all? Most of us have far more important things to be getting on with….features, CVs, Law, PA , Reporting or, more crucially, Twitter football name contests!!

It’s coming to something when we have to rely on a Chuckle-Brother-Esque collapsing desk to bring a bit of hilarity to the classroom.  “That’s coming out of your wages” was comic timing.

Plus, the amount of money that this course costs, you’d think they’d buy furniture that was a bit more sturdy wouldn’t you?

Tuesday the pressure was intense as we were entered into a competition aimed at improving our accuracy.  After getting every conceivable jabberwocky spelling right I was let down in the final against Marcus by one word – treatment.  About the one English word we’d had and it went.

Wednesday brought even more pressure (for some) – the mock reporting exam.  Two and a half hours of our best Duddleston Town efforts!  Hopefully most of us will be taking this exam early too – it’s going to be a big week that first week of December.  Better to do it before Christmas then spend the festive season drinking the memories away!

Of course, if I don’t make it as a journalist then a secondary career as a political activist could well be on the cards; slacker extraordinaire Chris Parlour left a comment on my Facebook wall which summed it up: “If you spend as much time……” 

I wonder if there are any jobs going at the Socialist Worker?  I’m sure when the revolution comes I’ll be right up there at the front, somewhere behind DT though I would imagine!

Friday again tomorrow – placement day. Things are still going well at The Dewsbury Reporter and they’re giving me plenty to do.  Have an invite to the Christmas party too. Note to self:  remember not to become a disgraceful drunk in front of colleagues!

The one downside, is that I have to reign in my political letter writing however, for the next 9 weeks at least!

I’ve had 3 articles published in the paper now; John Cooper was the biggest real-life test of my shorthand that I’ve faced.  But at least he was less daunting than the kids I was talking to last week.  Give me a 3 stone slimmer any day!

Now, I’m off to nctj.com to press refresh for the thousandth time just in case the results are now up…!

In out, In out, Sparks are all about

In Out, In Out!

Entertainment of the week has been watching DK pulling the cable out on the internet connection every couple of hours.  Or watching JT look at the box of cables without being sure which one to pull.

Absolutely Ridiculous. Yes, the Facebook useage of some people in the class is way way over the top...Fb counselling anyone? And, JT has a point, if you really can't go 2 hours without updating your life to the whole world, then you have issues!!

But...at the same time...we've all paid the same amount of money for the course and we are all in it for the same reasons.  So if people want to 'waste' their money and or time by dicking round on the 'net then that's their loss.

All of us have a 5 or 10 minute zone out in most of the lectures, and a good internet browse never hurt anyone. In the case of others there are deadlines that have to be met, and emails that have to be sent.  Sending those in lecture time never hurt anyone.  If not, then how are we supposed to 'stay in touch' - something key to any journalist.  Half 1 till 2 is lunch time, and by 5.30 or 6 most peope have gone home.

News Associates obviously lives and dies by its reputation for getting the most people through the exam with good marks; but if you think people spending all day on the internet is going to affect that, then I'd be very surprised.

There's always an alternative - hence the mysterious empty files that people may find cropping up in their 'personal' folders.

It takes the biscuit anyway when the lecturers' blackberries are going off with messages, or they are sat there so busy with the internet on their phones that they forget to let us go for lunch!

Get a grip - we all have Iphones, Blackberries & HTCs anyway so pull the wires if you have to, we'll just use the phones. 

And long may the sparks fly...smash the state indeed!

The closest I've come to wetting myself in class

Been away for a while, but I’m back.


After a week of holistic medicines there’s nothing to take away the pain this week.
Slightly narked today as I failed to pass 100wpm shorthand passage for the first time since I hit the top speed. Even more disappointing when yesterday I was passing two minutes at 110!


Desperate to nail the exam which is now just a week, yes, one week away. I not only want to pass it early, I want to get it out of the way to free up time for other things…namely Law and PA which are starting to blag my head with the exams for these about a month away. Whoever planned 5+ hours of shorthand on a Monday needs their head testing.


I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I can’t believe how quick the time is flying, next week is week 10 – the halfway marker already. If I can pass shorthand and newswriting and hopefully a good performance in the other two exams before Christmas then that’ll be presents enough for me this year.


It may even be time to start applying for jobs soon, although if I’m not back in Bradford on February 7 I’ll be very surprised!


Hoping to have an article in the Reporter tomorrow, which will be my first piece since I switched my placement. Not had any portfolio pieces for a while which is something I need to work on – easier if I don’t have to do three hours of shorthand anymore.


Luckily enough I’ve had the biggest (i.e longest) piece signed off as complete – the feature. Thanks to Mr Escapology himself the wonderful Roslyn Walker!


Talking of features, even thinking back to yesterday’s guest lecture brings tears to my eyes…
…I have never laughed so much in my life. “Whoosh, bang, pop” shouted RW as he flailed his arms round like a bird and threatened to take someone’s eye out. When he wasn’t doing bird impressions he was walking round and round on the spot muttering to himself. Or expressing disdain for the Daily Mail or explaining how Madonna makes babies.

This building could well be a testing lab for BBC comedy characters. Che Toomer, RP, Maguire, we’ve had some characters through that door in the last few weeks.


Onwards and upwards we go.

A picture tells a 100 words...(per minute)!!

For the first time in 6 years, and after only 6 weeks on the course, I've cracked it!!

Princess Anne & The Falling Horse

Safe to say that things truly got ridiculous this week.  At 5pm to be precise. That was about the time JT handed out the day's last task ; to write a story about a fella, who used to be a woman, but always knew he wanted to be a man. A gay man. And now that he is a man he spends his time dressing up as a woman, as a drag queen, to earn money.

It's at moments like that you realise it's time to go home.

My major success of the week was nailing a 2 minute passage of shorthand at 90wpm - although Paul did read out that I'd passed at 80 - great when your own teacher doesn't even know what exam your taking!  But then he dropped the bombshell - November 11
for first attempt at NCTJ 100wpm Shorthand exam.  4 weeks to nail another 10wpm - sounds easy, surely? Not a chance it will be!

Wednesday afternoon's Yellow Pages task had almost finished our group off when at ten to five we didn't even have a story.
And no, we hadn't been lazy; we'd been working all afternoon on mortgages (can you link that to building societies?) but the story fell through when we couldn't get quotes.  With a little help, we managed to find a storage company that had won an environmental award - building relocations is the link.  Two interviews and a press release later and we were sorted.  Think
that's the first time that I've properly understood the pressures of a real time deadline.  And it has to be admitted, that we would have failed as it wasn't on the page till 6.  But it got done, which is the main thing. Massive thanks to Tom, Hannah and Jade on that one. Here is the fruits of our labours: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/young-self-storage-company-scoop-enviromental-award

I think I had the class in stitches on Thursday morning when, during the PA lecture I called out, at a very opportune moment: "will you just shut up!" (apologies Paulyn) 
Well, Marcus was in stitches even if no one else was.  To be fair, he repaid the favour later in the afternoon when I read his intro about Princess Anne's horse dying when she fell on him. Add in Facebook again and it got completely out of hand..."Princess Anne’s horse has died after she fell on him. The Princess got scared by a fire engine and in her panic pushed chestnut thoroughbred Lancer over a fallen tree."

I'm beginning to realise that this blog is reading backwards as this is what I had published on Monday: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/afflecks-get-%C2%A3750000-makeover-help-influential-mosaicist-mark-kennedy
Quite pleased with this one, portfolio coming on nicely.

6 weeks down and liking it more and more, would love to nail shorthand and news-writing early and then dedicate my time to Law & PA.

Until next time...

Shorthand, Socialising and Everything In Between!

And so it begins, was never going to take long before everyone in the class started “Facebooking” each other was it!  Remind me again, why this site was a good invention? Maybe I should go see the film.

Think Jack got it spot on this afternoon with his talk though...some people really are on it like 24/7 and it does get annoying.  Not as annoying as the constant tap tap of keyboards however! I know Toomer may not be the most thrilling of lecturers but seriously, do we need to email all the way through? Personally I like his lectures – seems to be only Will and Me that ever talk in them though so what does that tell you?

The ‘Newsies Manchester’ Facebook group has already proved itself a source of great amusement....topics of the week being Dave Toomer and David Brent, sorry, Chris Maguire. Gutted Rick lost his Hollywood script; keep at it lad there's definitely an alternative career being carved for you there.

As for this week's guest lecture - I agree with Mayor...how could he get offended by those comments about his front page splash? And seriously, who would ever put snow chaos above a murder in terms of news worthiness? And if he’s really only 38 hell do I not want to be an editor – clearly puts years on you!

Although I think Law and PA aren’t going-in quite the way they should I’m cracking on a pace with Shorthand, surprising even myself with my progress, nailed a 70wpm this week and very close to getting 80 which after only 5 weeks is progress indeed.

Should have seen the smoke coming off my pen tonight as I tried to conduct a phone interview and get it down in shorthand; never seen paper combust so quickly or so spectacularly! Might have been something to do with my very enthusiastic interviewee who was on a roll with the Didsbury Beer Festival.

And as for Didsbury, how did we end up with that area for patch project? I thought Ashton was bad last time and now when I thought we’d nailed a good area – the University – we lost the quiz and had it stolen to be replaced by the aforementioned village.  But then I found the Beer Festival was happening in next couple of weeks so that’s my story sorted wey hey!

Hang on, that paragraph back up there, oh dear, no, did I really just say 5 weeks have passed? That’s like 20% of the course gone! Already? Eek! Oh well, only 15 more weeks till I can go back to my well paid recruitment job then eh!

Gutted that I’ve still not ingratiated myself in the social side of News Associates yet, need to remedy that very soon before people start thinking I’m boring.  Then again someone in the class did say “You’ve surprised me twice today Paddy” – not that I’m going to reveal why they were surprised. Well ok, one of them was the ‘pacemaker’ story but the other one is a state secret!

On the social side I did turn out in goal for ‘The Parsons Project’ on Monday.  Didn’t think I put in that good a performance and we did get tonked but then James very kindly posted on Facebook that: “I dread to think how bad yesterday would have been without a good keeper!” So that pleased me, didn’t stop me feeling bloody sore though. Bring on Wednesday. Oh and that was a great goal Johnny!

Need to nail some articles this weekend. Got Didsbury story to write up, Afflecks piece to finish (Ta Tamsin!), and need to crack on with Russ’s profile piece.  Body bags, and breathing in plastic, I’m sure I can make an entertaining read out of that.

Knackered, Glad it’s Thursday, Wishing it was Friday, Scared how quick it’s going, Made loads of new friends, Long Days, Shit Commute, But....still LOVING IT! LARGE!

Danny Lockwood look out...someone’s coming for your crown! But on much less controversial lines.  Of course, once I’ve won the lottery I’ll be buying him out but that’s another story...formulated in dream land.

AND...Still no fans"  Definitely can't face a return trip to the Doctor, far too dangerous; roll on Winter!

TTFN Readers.

That's A Monday

http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/pie-ling-pounds-pakistan

There it is, my first article up since I started the course! I wrote the *cheesy* headline too, and think I'm slightly prouder of that than the actual article.

Had a good day today, one of a few in the class who managed 40wpm at 100%.  I can get 50wpm too, and this is really my building block, so I'd have been mortified if I'd not passed this first "class test".

Talking of which, shorthand made me seem like a burke last week...
...was asked to do a 2 minute talk about something I'd achieved that day (Thursday), put on the spot, I, for once, was speechless and caught on-the-hop. And the only thing I could think I'd done that day was nail a 50wpm shorthand piece at 100%; so I promptly blurted that out in front of the whole class.  I'm surprised I didn't get things thrown at me, I know enough people in the class are struggling with it. Oh well, ho hum!

Being A Student : Parts 1-3

After a typical student weekend that included political meetings, football, beer, partying and lots of vodka I found myself trying to write shorthand at 4pm on Sunday.  Think maybe I need to get my head round this out-of-hours studying lark.  Never been much good at it previously.  Then again some would say that is why I am where I am, but I’ll leave it to my mother to lead the prosecution’s case on that one!

Two weeks gone (or 10% if you prefer) already and quite scarily the shorthand teacher announced today that “we’ve covered all the basic theory”. Finished the book in other words.  To be honest I’d almost lost the will to live at that point – studying anything in two and a half hour blocks is taxing at the best of times, never mind on a Monday morning.  Then again one half an hour break in an 8 hour day could surely give the EU Work Time Directive a run for its money.  No wonder one of the guys is on two cans of Relentless a day – I kid you not!

Prior to all this I had my first day on placement last Friday.  I took the initiation test which involves being told “there are no jobs. And don’t believe those people who say the job market is on the way back up. It isn’t.  For those jobs that are there, there are far too many qualified people. So don’t think you’re getting one.  And just in case you somehow pull it off, don’t forget, the money’s rubbish.  So don’t expect to live.  Well, you can live.  But you can’t visit Australia.”  I batted this off with my usual “Yes, I know.  And yes, it’s still what I want to do” He finished his cigarette went inside and ordered fish and chips.  I followed suit (minus the fag) and figured I’d passed.  Either that, or convinced him I was crazy enough to keep on until the end of January.  

It would be so ironic if I was to find a job wouldn’t it. Personally I thought that’s why I was doing this!

Need to crack on writing some articles for my portfolio this week.  Got one in the pipeline now regarding the selection of the candidate to fight the local elections for the Labour party in Dewsbury West.  Not that there’s any potential clash between my politics and my career.  Not even now I’ve been elected as Constituency Press Officer, although that happened on Friday before the weekend’s beer kicked in.

IN OTHER NEWS...

Not been selected to attend the Labour Party Conference, which is a bit gutting; thinking of going to some of the fringe meetings around the city to dig out a story or two though.

Talking of which, I’ve yet to root out a Tory in the class – sure there must be one somewhere. There’s a surprising number of ‘socialists’ actually.

Got a log-in for the NCTJ website last night, logged in and promptly logged back out again; it has my abysmal scores on there from when I took the exams at uni. Not something to dwell on. Although the one I passed, they’re still making me re-take, despite telling me in interview I wouldn’t have to.  But then again, that was the same interview where they said there’d be 20 people in the class. Maybe I was actually interviewed by a figment of someone else’s imagination and it didn’t really happen?

After lectures tomorrow we're having a quiz and drinks ‘in the building’ – hmm, watch out for drunken Facebook status updates somewhere around 8pm. And not just mine.

Oh, and I found the cool spot in the room.  Suprisingly, it’s near a window.  Only downside? The dreadlocked guy who decided to piss against the parked car at approximately 4pm.  Some of the girls were a bit shocked when he turned back round, I didn’t dare ask why!!

A coffee fueled tour of Manchester (and more late trains)

If you’re ever lost in Manchester, you won’t go short of coffee.

Either I was going round in circles, or Manchester is home to all the world’s caffeine addicts.  At one point I looked around to find Starbucks to my left, Costa dead ahead and Café Nero right next to Costa! How many coffee shops can one city take? My spontaneous walking tour this morning tells me at least eight. You can tell this isn’t Yorkshire – if it was they’d all be tea shops!

Of course for the cost of a beverage in one of these shops you could probably get a taxi to the place you were supposed to be going when you realised you were lost.

The smell is so inviting but I must resist, I’ve already had a tea AND a coffee today, anymore and I’ll be lost but in desperate need of a toilet.  Not a good combination I don’t think.  Then again, maybe these up market coffee shops have toilets themselves? The last one I went in did, but it was locked.  And I needed to be sick.  But back then I wasn’t lost. And I wasn't in Manchester.

Being lost can actually be quite liberating, you can go where you want at your own pace because no one is expecting you to be in a certain place at a certain time.  I was supposed to be in a certain place at a certain time, namely the GMEX centre at 8.45 for the TUC Conference, but that was many hours ago, before the trains let me down again…

….you know it’s going to be a bad day when you get up early, to get an early train, and you arrive at the station before the early train you intend to catch, and the board tells you, early, that the train isn’t coming.  Neither is the one after it, just like the one before it and the one before that. But the man who operates the information boards is having fun this morning.  He doesn’t put cancelled or delayed on all the trains; oh no, he puts a time on some of them just to make you think one will turn up.  Then, and only then, when it gets to the allotted time, does he type in the magic words on his computer to tell you that it’s not coming at all.

The helpful fella from the course told me to turn up at the Conference anyway, whenever the train got in.  And I intended to, I really wanted to. But then I got lost.
I was quite looking forward to Mervyn King’s speech this morning, I like this bloke.  Mainly because he supported Labour’s economic plans before they were summarily kicked out of office.  I was hoping he’d tear the Con-Dem-Ed administration apart when he got going. But it doesn't look like he did, in fact he did that most un-public of things, he apologised.  You can tell he's not a politician.

He really should have had a go and got his kicks in early because there won’t be much of this governement left to kick when the Unions have had their feed this Winter. I hope.

Anyway I missed the speech and the conference because of the trains.  But this time it wasn’t the train companies fault.  Some scroat nicked the cable at Batley – personally, I hope he got electrocuted.  Lets face it, that would be more of a punishment than anything he would get from British Justice.

Ps: They're buying some fans! Just to rub it in a bit more the girl sat by the window today complained she was cold so that's why the window was shut.  While 5 of us on the otherside sweltered like we were in the Sahara.  The Doctor said he was concerned about my weight before I started this course - I daren't go back now!

Late trains, sweaty rooms, broken speakers and a bit of speed dating

“Tuesday 7th September at 9:30am. Please arrive in plenty of time” screamed the email.



“Be on time every day and everyone’s a winner” makes it sound like some American kindergarten chant. But of course, at approximately 9.28 I was still on the train. A late train. Again. Every day I wake up and think today will be the day that the trains run on time; every day I am left with shattered dreams. To steal a line from Tim Booth, lead singer of James: "Gotta keep faith that your path will change, Gotta keep faith that your luck will change, Tomorrow".  Now, where did I put that timetable?

By the way, do you know what’s worse than a late train?


A late train that runs slow!

Leaves on the line? No. Cable theft? No. Overhead line problems? No? Too hot/wet/cold/slippy/icy? No. Just slow. Slow as in S.L.O.W for no foreseeable reason. And we weren’t even treated to one of those faux-apology-announcements over the PA system – not that I’d have heard it with the Levellers attacking my ear drums – much too loud for this early on a morning!

For being late you get a special treat – the last seat in the room, or almost the last seat because someone came in after me, but I have no idea where she magicked a seat from because it sure wasn’t there when I looked – if it had been she’d have had no chance! Yeah, sit at the front, where everyone can see you and realise that you are the dumb ass who was almost late on the first day. But not as late as the girl who came after...

35 nervous people sitting down in a room, all doing that classic first-day-of-school thing i.e.: trying to look at everyone whilst making out you’re looking at no one. With all the blokes checking out who’s hot and who’s not, and the girls obviously doing the same although they wouldn’t admit it. Another thing - 35? 35? Seriously? 20 people you said at interview! I know at £3,000 a pop you want as many of us in as possible, but there are serious personal space issues going on here, I hope no one’s claustrophobic. Plus all those people in a room that hot, hmm, not good! Although £100,000 in the company bank accounts must look good eh? That would buy a hell of a lot of fans though - do you not realise how cheap they are these days?


First things first, an introduction to the course followed by a video. A video with sound that can’t be heard because the speakers are rubbish. So what shall we do? Bright idea Number 1: shut the windows. Either the person that chose to do that has ice in their veins or is on some kind of revolutionary sweat-it-out diet.  I take it you didn't realise how hot it was in there before you shut those windows? Never mind afterwards!
Or were you just trying to give a couple of us heat stroke, in the hope that we would leave because you realised you over-subscribed the course?
Bright idea Number 2: plug the video into the computer with better speakers. Yes, if you’d done that to start with we could still have had the windows open couldn’t we?

Did I mention the refreshments? No shyness here; no sooner were the croissants, Pain~au~chocolat and juice on the table than they were gone. Typical students!


After that it was onto shorthand...letters, alphabet, special outlines and dictation. I had two different female shorthand tutors in three years at uni and neither of them got me close to 100wpm. But this fella thinks he’ll take me there in less than 5 months? Good Luck Pal, you have my very best wishes!

At least no-one did a Jennie Drury; copying the alphabet from the back of the book then claiming they already knew it.  Most people were too bamboozled by all these symbols.  I mean seriously, how many ways are there to write the letter A? Never mind E! And don't get me started on M!

I've never done speed-dating before, but that was the beginning of this afternoon's activities.  Basically instead of doing the totally embarrasing stand up, "I'm Paul from Basildon with a fetish for blow up dolls and an unhealthy interest in Freddie Mercury", the idea is that you spill your best (worst?) bits to the person sat next to you, and they embarrass you instead, great eh?  So according to Kieran I think it was, or maybe Kevin? I knew one of the 7/7 bombers, although only by sight and not by name he hastily reassured the class! No, that's not what I told him but it's what he told everyone else.  Can we stick to the basics like age, name, football team next time please? Mention politics and pacemakers if you have to, but Bombers is a bit dark for 2 o clock in a room full of strangers.  Do you want SWAT teams crawling  down the windows? Fool!
Oh, roll on January 24th...

Journalists Are Historians Of The Here And Now

One of the beauties of journalism, and of being a journalist, is the power it enables you to feel. Journalists are without doubt, historians of the moment. The written and spoken word provides a commentary and analysis of the modern world and its associated events and happenings which will be recorded for years to come and will be read by future generations.


The brilliant thing about history being documented in this way is that it can’t be changed – people can try and put a different spin on it, a different recollection maybe, or they can even tell you “that wasn’t how it occurred”. But there is something so definite about the written word as a document.  Who has ever tried to dispute The Book of Kells?

This point has particular resonance with the publication this week of Tony Blair’s memoir, The Journey. Many people, anti-Blairites mostly, will tell you that this book is his attempt to re-write history. They will tell you that in fact the world is not, and should not be seen to be as grateful to ‘Tony’ as he would have us believe, and not everything that has been achieved in this world post 1997 is down to him alone.  Even people in the Labour Party would try and tell you it was more about 'Tony' and less about 'The Party'.


However there is one point that I would like to make. This world that we now live in is, undoubtedly, a better and safer world now that Charles Taylor, Slobodan Milosevic and Saddam Hussein are no longer in power. That is a fact, and that fact is part of the legacy of Tony Blair’s time as Prime Minister.


Blair’s legacy can be Iraq if you wish it to be, but don’t lose sight of the one fact that The Tories would have you conveniently forget – they voted for Iraq just as much as Labour did. Had they been in power back then, things wouldn’t have been any different. So let them posture and pose with their ‘holier than thou’ attitude. But the truth of the matter is something that although forgotten, will be recorded for all of time for people to recall. Why? Because the vote for war was recorded in all its details by the journalists of the time.


Funny that, isn’t it?

Re: Contacts and my little black book

Are you superstitious? Look back at my second post "Contacts and my little black book".  Do you know what happened last week? Yes, my computer crashed! And was any of my information backed up? Oh no.


£60 and a new hard drive later I'm hoping against hope that the data from my old one can be recovered.


Damn this technological age...now, where did I put my slate and chalk??

Opportunity Knocks

Tucked away at the foot of a column in this week's Reporter, comes an interesting snippet - the news that Adam Wolstenholme (Esq!) is leaving the 'paper to take up a career as an English teacher. I'm sure there's a related link somewhere, but it's not Adam's future career path that concerns me, but my own.


5 months hence and allowing myself to dream that I would actually be fully qualified, this would be the perfect opportunity.  It would be a massive pay cut from what I currently earn, and I'd be back to reporting on cats stuck up trees and Nellie Jones' 110th birthday party, but I would actually be doing the one thing I've strived 15 years for: writing for a living.


As it is, there is no way a paper would look twice at a local boy, from the same town, who has a million and one contacts within the local area, who has previously worked for the self same paper, and who has a talent for writing. Why? Because I don't have the right piece of paper that says I can do it. 


However, given the turn over of staff in that office, this may not be the last opportunity to turn up down on Wellington Street.  Some of us have somewhat higher aspirations anyway.

Contacts and my little black book

Pleasantly surprised to find an email in my inbox this morning from Mr W, one of my old editors. Found him through Linkedin, which was suggested to me by my cousin. If you’ve not used it then think of Facebook for professionals.

The aforementioned Mr W gave me my first ever front page story (and my second as well), plus gifted me my own column in the Dewsbury Reporter for a few years. All about whist drives, happiness clubs and bingo from what I recall. We lost touch for a while, think 3 years of university hedonism in a different part of the country may have had a part to play in that. Ironic that I’m enrolling on this NCTJ fast track course now as Mr W and I had many a discussion about me doing such a course instead of going to uni in the first place. But no regrets, like a cat that falls off a wall and lands on its paws, I get there eventually.

Mr W was actually the second editor that I submitted work for, but the first one has slipped somewhat into notoriety so doesn’t get mentioned much these days…well, in private he does, and only in certain circles!

Also been put in touch with the Deputy Editor of Sky Sports Radio – another one that needs following up, even if he did rip my CV to pieces. Ho Hum.

Now, where did I put that little black book – knowing my luck my computer will crash and I’ll lose these contacts that I’ve just reignited.

Heading for the startline

The groundsmen are painting the white lines and the nets are being tested; as I stand here in the empty stadium, just days before kick off, I can at last see the newly laid turf of the field upon which the next chapter of my life will play out.  I say life, and not career, because for so long (since the age of 10), they have been intertwined.  I don't write to get paid, or because it's a job - I write because I love writing, and everything good in my life tends to spark creative thoughts in my brain which usually end up on paper in one way or another.


It's taken a long time and a three year hiatus moonlighting as a university recruiter, but finally I'm about to go back to my first love - journalism!  I'm staying true to my Northern roots but for four days a week I will betray the White Rose county as the express of trans pennine speeds me over the tops, through the dark stone walls and grey towns of Marsden, Stalybridge and beyond,  to land me on t'other side of the flowerbed.


The first textbook has already dropped through the letterbox and trying to comprehend understanding every page of this legal tome in 5 short months has already scared me enough into wrapping the book back up in the Amazon recycled cardboard and hiding it under the bed!