"I don't want to see you in here!" Thanks, Paul, great. Feeling the love there mate.
Apparently News Associates have a new ethos: If you do well, succeed, and push on - you get penalised!
Why should we get forced out of the class and have the internet connection taken away, because we've passed shorthand early and no longer have to sit in the class?
We've all paid £3,300 for this course, we are entitled to use the facilities; for Paul to suggest that we should "buy a coffee" in order to use the internet elsewhere is a joke.
He's the one that has a small group left; they are the ones that should be in a smaller room, not us.
Get a grip mate, seriously.
Thursday, 18 November 2010
Apologies & Activism
Every edition of this blog that I write currently seems to contain the words “I can’t believe”; but really, I can’t believe that I’m 11 weeks in. I can’t believe I’m writing shorthand at 110wpm. (Although John keeps challenging me and pushing onto 120!) I can’t believe that I have exams in 3 weeks. And I can’t believe that in 9 weeks time I’ll have finished this course. (But can’t is different to don’t, so no, I’m not Victor Meldrew!)
Last week I had a taste of the real thing – my first official crack at the shorthand 100wpm exam. I think it went ok, despite getting a serious attack of the shakes about 30 words in and thinking I was going to collapse completely. A beer at 11am has never tasted as good; PA afterwards wasn’t much fun though.
I’m pretty sure it’s a pass and I’m just sat waiting now for the slowest markers in the worlds, The NCTJ, to post the results.
Bored has been the word for this week – ‘teacher with the spanners’ making us sit through the shorthand classes when most of us think we’ve passed, and then wondering why we’re talking and doing bugger all? Most of us have far more important things to be getting on with….features, CVs, Law, PA , Reporting or, more crucially, Twitter football name contests!!
It’s coming to something when we have to rely on a Chuckle-Brother-Esque collapsing desk to bring a bit of hilarity to the classroom. “That’s coming out of your wages” was comic timing.
Plus, the amount of money that this course costs, you’d think they’d buy furniture that was a bit more sturdy wouldn’t you?
Tuesday the pressure was intense as we were entered into a competition aimed at improving our accuracy. After getting every conceivable jabberwocky spelling right I was let down in the final against Marcus by one word – treatment. About the one English word we’d had and it went.
Wednesday brought even more pressure (for some) – the mock reporting exam. Two and a half hours of our best Duddleston Town efforts! Hopefully most of us will be taking this exam early too – it’s going to be a big week that first week of December. Better to do it before Christmas then spend the festive season drinking the memories away!
Of course, if I don’t make it as a journalist then a secondary career as a political activist could well be on the cards; slacker extraordinaire Chris Parlour left a comment on my Facebook wall which summed it up: “If you spend as much time……”
I wonder if there are any jobs going at the Socialist Worker? I’m sure when the revolution comes I’ll be right up there at the front, somewhere behind DT though I would imagine!
Friday again tomorrow – placement day. Things are still going well at The Dewsbury Reporter and they’re giving me plenty to do. Have an invite to the Christmas party too. Note to self: remember not to become a disgraceful drunk in front of colleagues!
The one downside, is that I have to reign in my political letter writing however, for the next 9 weeks at least!
I’ve had 3 articles published in the paper now; John Cooper was the biggest real-life test of my shorthand that I’ve faced. But at least he was less daunting than the kids I was talking to last week. Give me a 3 stone slimmer any day!
Now, I’m off to nctj.com to press refresh for the thousandth time just in case the results are now up…!
Thursday, 4 November 2010
In out, In out, Sparks are all about
In Out, In Out!
Entertainment of the week has been watching DK pulling the cable out on the internet connection every couple of hours. Or watching JT look at the box of cables without being sure which one to pull.
Absolutely Ridiculous. Yes, the Facebook useage of some people in the class is way way over the top...Fb counselling anyone? And, JT has a point, if you really can't go 2 hours without updating your life to the whole world, then you have issues!!
But...at the same time...we've all paid the same amount of money for the course and we are all in it for the same reasons. So if people want to 'waste' their money and or time by dicking round on the 'net then that's their loss.
All of us have a 5 or 10 minute zone out in most of the lectures, and a good internet browse never hurt anyone. In the case of others there are deadlines that have to be met, and emails that have to be sent. Sending those in lecture time never hurt anyone. If not, then how are we supposed to 'stay in touch' - something key to any journalist. Half 1 till 2 is lunch time, and by 5.30 or 6 most peope have gone home.
News Associates obviously lives and dies by its reputation for getting the most people through the exam with good marks; but if you think people spending all day on the internet is going to affect that, then I'd be very surprised.
There's always an alternative - hence the mysterious empty files that people may find cropping up in their 'personal' folders.
It takes the biscuit anyway when the lecturers' blackberries are going off with messages, or they are sat there so busy with the internet on their phones that they forget to let us go for lunch!
Get a grip - we all have Iphones, Blackberries & HTCs anyway so pull the wires if you have to, we'll just use the phones.
And long may the sparks fly...smash the state indeed!
Entertainment of the week has been watching DK pulling the cable out on the internet connection every couple of hours. Or watching JT look at the box of cables without being sure which one to pull.
Absolutely Ridiculous. Yes, the Facebook useage of some people in the class is way way over the top...Fb counselling anyone? And, JT has a point, if you really can't go 2 hours without updating your life to the whole world, then you have issues!!
But...at the same time...we've all paid the same amount of money for the course and we are all in it for the same reasons. So if people want to 'waste' their money and or time by dicking round on the 'net then that's their loss.
All of us have a 5 or 10 minute zone out in most of the lectures, and a good internet browse never hurt anyone. In the case of others there are deadlines that have to be met, and emails that have to be sent. Sending those in lecture time never hurt anyone. If not, then how are we supposed to 'stay in touch' - something key to any journalist. Half 1 till 2 is lunch time, and by 5.30 or 6 most peope have gone home.
News Associates obviously lives and dies by its reputation for getting the most people through the exam with good marks; but if you think people spending all day on the internet is going to affect that, then I'd be very surprised.
There's always an alternative - hence the mysterious empty files that people may find cropping up in their 'personal' folders.
It takes the biscuit anyway when the lecturers' blackberries are going off with messages, or they are sat there so busy with the internet on their phones that they forget to let us go for lunch!
Get a grip - we all have Iphones, Blackberries & HTCs anyway so pull the wires if you have to, we'll just use the phones.
And long may the sparks fly...smash the state indeed!
The closest I've come to wetting myself in class
Been away for a while, but I’m back.
After a week of holistic medicines there’s nothing to take away the pain this week.
Slightly narked today as I failed to pass 100wpm shorthand passage for the first time since I hit the top speed. Even more disappointing when yesterday I was passing two minutes at 110!
Desperate to nail the exam which is now just a week, yes, one week away. I not only want to pass it early, I want to get it out of the way to free up time for other things…namely Law and PA which are starting to blag my head with the exams for these about a month away. Whoever planned 5+ hours of shorthand on a Monday needs their head testing.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I can’t believe how quick the time is flying, next week is week 10 – the halfway marker already. If I can pass shorthand and newswriting and hopefully a good performance in the other two exams before Christmas then that’ll be presents enough for me this year.
It may even be time to start applying for jobs soon, although if I’m not back in Bradford on February 7 I’ll be very surprised!
Hoping to have an article in the Reporter tomorrow, which will be my first piece since I switched my placement. Not had any portfolio pieces for a while which is something I need to work on – easier if I don’t have to do three hours of shorthand anymore.
Luckily enough I’ve had the biggest (i.e longest) piece signed off as complete – the feature. Thanks to Mr Escapology himself the wonderful Roslyn Walker!
Talking of features, even thinking back to yesterday’s guest lecture brings tears to my eyes…
…I have never laughed so much in my life. “Whoosh, bang, pop” shouted RW as he flailed his arms round like a bird and threatened to take someone’s eye out. When he wasn’t doing bird impressions he was walking round and round on the spot muttering to himself. Or expressing disdain for the Daily Mail or explaining how Madonna makes babies.
This building could well be a testing lab for BBC comedy characters. Che Toomer, RP, Maguire, we’ve had some characters through that door in the last few weeks.
Onwards and upwards we go.
After a week of holistic medicines there’s nothing to take away the pain this week.
Slightly narked today as I failed to pass 100wpm shorthand passage for the first time since I hit the top speed. Even more disappointing when yesterday I was passing two minutes at 110!
Desperate to nail the exam which is now just a week, yes, one week away. I not only want to pass it early, I want to get it out of the way to free up time for other things…namely Law and PA which are starting to blag my head with the exams for these about a month away. Whoever planned 5+ hours of shorthand on a Monday needs their head testing.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I can’t believe how quick the time is flying, next week is week 10 – the halfway marker already. If I can pass shorthand and newswriting and hopefully a good performance in the other two exams before Christmas then that’ll be presents enough for me this year.
It may even be time to start applying for jobs soon, although if I’m not back in Bradford on February 7 I’ll be very surprised!
Hoping to have an article in the Reporter tomorrow, which will be my first piece since I switched my placement. Not had any portfolio pieces for a while which is something I need to work on – easier if I don’t have to do three hours of shorthand anymore.
Luckily enough I’ve had the biggest (i.e longest) piece signed off as complete – the feature. Thanks to Mr Escapology himself the wonderful Roslyn Walker!
Talking of features, even thinking back to yesterday’s guest lecture brings tears to my eyes…
…I have never laughed so much in my life. “Whoosh, bang, pop” shouted RW as he flailed his arms round like a bird and threatened to take someone’s eye out. When he wasn’t doing bird impressions he was walking round and round on the spot muttering to himself. Or expressing disdain for the Daily Mail or explaining how Madonna makes babies.
This building could well be a testing lab for BBC comedy characters. Che Toomer, RP, Maguire, we’ve had some characters through that door in the last few weeks.
Onwards and upwards we go.
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
A picture tells a 100 words...(per minute)!!
For the first time in 6 years, and after only 6 weeks on the course, I've cracked it!!
Saturday, 16 October 2010
Princess Anne & The Falling Horse
Safe to say that things truly got ridiculous this week. At 5pm to be precise. That was about the time JT handed out the day's last task ; to write a story about a fella, who used to be a woman, but always knew he wanted to be a man. A gay man. And now that he is a man he spends his time dressing up as a woman, as a drag queen, to earn money.
It's at moments like that you realise it's time to go home.
My major success of the week was nailing a 2 minute passage of shorthand at 90wpm - although Paul did read out that I'd passed at 80 - great when your own teacher doesn't even know what exam your taking! But then he dropped the bombshell - November 11
for first attempt at NCTJ 100wpm Shorthand exam. 4 weeks to nail another 10wpm - sounds easy, surely? Not a chance it will be!
Wednesday afternoon's Yellow Pages task had almost finished our group off when at ten to five we didn't even have a story.
And no, we hadn't been lazy; we'd been working all afternoon on mortgages (can you link that to building societies?) but the story fell through when we couldn't get quotes. With a little help, we managed to find a storage company that had won an environmental award - building relocations is the link. Two interviews and a press release later and we were sorted. Think
that's the first time that I've properly understood the pressures of a real time deadline. And it has to be admitted, that we would have failed as it wasn't on the page till 6. But it got done, which is the main thing. Massive thanks to Tom, Hannah and Jade on that one. Here is the fruits of our labours: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/young-self-storage-company-scoop-enviromental-award
I think I had the class in stitches on Thursday morning when, during the PA lecture I called out, at a very opportune moment: "will you just shut up!" (apologies Paulyn)
Well, Marcus was in stitches even if no one else was. To be fair, he repaid the favour later in the afternoon when I read his intro about Princess Anne's horse dying when she fell on him. Add in Facebook again and it got completely out of hand..."Princess Anne’s horse has died after she fell on him. The Princess got scared by a fire engine and in her panic pushed chestnut thoroughbred Lancer over a fallen tree."
I'm beginning to realise that this blog is reading backwards as this is what I had published on Monday: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/afflecks-get-%C2%A3750000-makeover-help-influential-mosaicist-mark-kennedy
Quite pleased with this one, portfolio coming on nicely.
6 weeks down and liking it more and more, would love to nail shorthand and news-writing early and then dedicate my time to Law & PA.
Until next time...
It's at moments like that you realise it's time to go home.
My major success of the week was nailing a 2 minute passage of shorthand at 90wpm - although Paul did read out that I'd passed at 80 - great when your own teacher doesn't even know what exam your taking! But then he dropped the bombshell - November 11
for first attempt at NCTJ 100wpm Shorthand exam. 4 weeks to nail another 10wpm - sounds easy, surely? Not a chance it will be!
Wednesday afternoon's Yellow Pages task had almost finished our group off when at ten to five we didn't even have a story.
And no, we hadn't been lazy; we'd been working all afternoon on mortgages (can you link that to building societies?) but the story fell through when we couldn't get quotes. With a little help, we managed to find a storage company that had won an environmental award - building relocations is the link. Two interviews and a press release later and we were sorted. Think
that's the first time that I've properly understood the pressures of a real time deadline. And it has to be admitted, that we would have failed as it wasn't on the page till 6. But it got done, which is the main thing. Massive thanks to Tom, Hannah and Jade on that one. Here is the fruits of our labours: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/young-self-storage-company-scoop-enviromental-award
I think I had the class in stitches on Thursday morning when, during the PA lecture I called out, at a very opportune moment: "will you just shut up!" (apologies Paulyn)
Well, Marcus was in stitches even if no one else was. To be fair, he repaid the favour later in the afternoon when I read his intro about Princess Anne's horse dying when she fell on him. Add in Facebook again and it got completely out of hand..."Princess Anne’s horse has died after she fell on him. The Princess got scared by a fire engine and in her panic pushed chestnut thoroughbred Lancer over a fallen tree."
I'm beginning to realise that this blog is reading backwards as this is what I had published on Monday: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/afflecks-get-%C2%A3750000-makeover-help-influential-mosaicist-mark-kennedy
Quite pleased with this one, portfolio coming on nicely.
6 weeks down and liking it more and more, would love to nail shorthand and news-writing early and then dedicate my time to Law & PA.
Until next time...
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Shorthand, Socialising and Everything In Between!
And so it begins, was never going to take long before everyone in the class started “Facebooking” each other was it! Remind me again, why this site was a good invention? Maybe I should go see the film.
Think Jack got it spot on this afternoon with his talk though...some people really are on it like 24/7 and it does get annoying. Not as annoying as the constant tap tap of keyboards however! I know Toomer may not be the most thrilling of lecturers but seriously, do we need to email all the way through? Personally I like his lectures – seems to be only Will and Me that ever talk in them though so what does that tell you?
The ‘Newsies Manchester’ Facebook group has already proved itself a source of great amusement....topics of the week being Dave Toomer and David Brent, sorry, Chris Maguire. Gutted Rick lost his Hollywood script; keep at it lad there's definitely an alternative career being carved for you there.
As for this week's guest lecture - I agree with Mayor...how could he get offended by those comments about his front page splash? And seriously, who would ever put snow chaos above a murder in terms of news worthiness? And if he’s really only 38 hell do I not want to be an editor – clearly puts years on you!
Although I think Law and PA aren’t going-in quite the way they should I’m cracking on a pace with Shorthand, surprising even myself with my progress, nailed a 70wpm this week and very close to getting 80 which after only 5 weeks is progress indeed.
Should have seen the smoke coming off my pen tonight as I tried to conduct a phone interview and get it down in shorthand; never seen paper combust so quickly or so spectacularly! Might have been something to do with my very enthusiastic interviewee who was on a roll with the Didsbury Beer Festival.
And as for Didsbury, how did we end up with that area for patch project? I thought Ashton was bad last time and now when I thought we’d nailed a good area – the University – we lost the quiz and had it stolen to be replaced by the aforementioned village. But then I found the Beer Festival was happening in next couple of weeks so that’s my story sorted wey hey!
Hang on, that paragraph back up there, oh dear, no, did I really just say 5 weeks have passed? That’s like 20% of the course gone! Already? Eek! Oh well, only 15 more weeks till I can go back to my well paid recruitment job then eh!
Gutted that I’ve still not ingratiated myself in the social side of News Associates yet, need to remedy that very soon before people start thinking I’m boring. Then again someone in the class did say “You’ve surprised me twice today Paddy” – not that I’m going to reveal why they were surprised. Well ok, one of them was the ‘pacemaker’ story but the other one is a state secret!
Need to nail some articles this weekend. Got Didsbury story to write up, Afflecks piece to finish (Ta Tamsin!), and need to crack on with Russ’s profile piece. Body bags, and breathing in plastic, I’m sure I can make an entertaining read out of that.
Knackered, Glad it’s Thursday, Wishing it was Friday, Scared how quick it’s going, Made loads of new friends, Long Days, Shit Commute, But....still LOVING IT! LARGE!
Danny Lockwood look out...someone’s coming for your crown! But on much less controversial lines. Of course, once I’ve won the lottery I’ll be buying him out but that’s another story...formulated in dream land.
AND...Still no fans" Definitely can't face a return trip to the Doctor, far too dangerous; roll on Winter!
AND...Still no fans" Definitely can't face a return trip to the Doctor, far too dangerous; roll on Winter!
TTFN Readers.
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