For the first time in 6 years, and after only 6 weeks on the course, I've cracked it!!
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Saturday, 16 October 2010
Princess Anne & The Falling Horse
Safe to say that things truly got ridiculous this week. At 5pm to be precise. That was about the time JT handed out the day's last task ; to write a story about a fella, who used to be a woman, but always knew he wanted to be a man. A gay man. And now that he is a man he spends his time dressing up as a woman, as a drag queen, to earn money.
It's at moments like that you realise it's time to go home.
My major success of the week was nailing a 2 minute passage of shorthand at 90wpm - although Paul did read out that I'd passed at 80 - great when your own teacher doesn't even know what exam your taking! But then he dropped the bombshell - November 11
for first attempt at NCTJ 100wpm Shorthand exam. 4 weeks to nail another 10wpm - sounds easy, surely? Not a chance it will be!
Wednesday afternoon's Yellow Pages task had almost finished our group off when at ten to five we didn't even have a story.
And no, we hadn't been lazy; we'd been working all afternoon on mortgages (can you link that to building societies?) but the story fell through when we couldn't get quotes. With a little help, we managed to find a storage company that had won an environmental award - building relocations is the link. Two interviews and a press release later and we were sorted. Think
that's the first time that I've properly understood the pressures of a real time deadline. And it has to be admitted, that we would have failed as it wasn't on the page till 6. But it got done, which is the main thing. Massive thanks to Tom, Hannah and Jade on that one. Here is the fruits of our labours: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/young-self-storage-company-scoop-enviromental-award
I think I had the class in stitches on Thursday morning when, during the PA lecture I called out, at a very opportune moment: "will you just shut up!" (apologies Paulyn)
Well, Marcus was in stitches even if no one else was. To be fair, he repaid the favour later in the afternoon when I read his intro about Princess Anne's horse dying when she fell on him. Add in Facebook again and it got completely out of hand..."Princess Anne’s horse has died after she fell on him. The Princess got scared by a fire engine and in her panic pushed chestnut thoroughbred Lancer over a fallen tree."
I'm beginning to realise that this blog is reading backwards as this is what I had published on Monday: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/afflecks-get-%C2%A3750000-makeover-help-influential-mosaicist-mark-kennedy
Quite pleased with this one, portfolio coming on nicely.
6 weeks down and liking it more and more, would love to nail shorthand and news-writing early and then dedicate my time to Law & PA.
Until next time...
It's at moments like that you realise it's time to go home.
My major success of the week was nailing a 2 minute passage of shorthand at 90wpm - although Paul did read out that I'd passed at 80 - great when your own teacher doesn't even know what exam your taking! But then he dropped the bombshell - November 11
for first attempt at NCTJ 100wpm Shorthand exam. 4 weeks to nail another 10wpm - sounds easy, surely? Not a chance it will be!
Wednesday afternoon's Yellow Pages task had almost finished our group off when at ten to five we didn't even have a story.
And no, we hadn't been lazy; we'd been working all afternoon on mortgages (can you link that to building societies?) but the story fell through when we couldn't get quotes. With a little help, we managed to find a storage company that had won an environmental award - building relocations is the link. Two interviews and a press release later and we were sorted. Think
that's the first time that I've properly understood the pressures of a real time deadline. And it has to be admitted, that we would have failed as it wasn't on the page till 6. But it got done, which is the main thing. Massive thanks to Tom, Hannah and Jade on that one. Here is the fruits of our labours: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/young-self-storage-company-scoop-enviromental-award
I think I had the class in stitches on Thursday morning when, during the PA lecture I called out, at a very opportune moment: "will you just shut up!" (apologies Paulyn)
Well, Marcus was in stitches even if no one else was. To be fair, he repaid the favour later in the afternoon when I read his intro about Princess Anne's horse dying when she fell on him. Add in Facebook again and it got completely out of hand..."Princess Anne’s horse has died after she fell on him. The Princess got scared by a fire engine and in her panic pushed chestnut thoroughbred Lancer over a fallen tree."
I'm beginning to realise that this blog is reading backwards as this is what I had published on Monday: http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/afflecks-get-%C2%A3750000-makeover-help-influential-mosaicist-mark-kennedy
Quite pleased with this one, portfolio coming on nicely.
6 weeks down and liking it more and more, would love to nail shorthand and news-writing early and then dedicate my time to Law & PA.
Until next time...
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Shorthand, Socialising and Everything In Between!
And so it begins, was never going to take long before everyone in the class started “Facebooking” each other was it! Remind me again, why this site was a good invention? Maybe I should go see the film.
Think Jack got it spot on this afternoon with his talk though...some people really are on it like 24/7 and it does get annoying. Not as annoying as the constant tap tap of keyboards however! I know Toomer may not be the most thrilling of lecturers but seriously, do we need to email all the way through? Personally I like his lectures – seems to be only Will and Me that ever talk in them though so what does that tell you?
The ‘Newsies Manchester’ Facebook group has already proved itself a source of great amusement....topics of the week being Dave Toomer and David Brent, sorry, Chris Maguire. Gutted Rick lost his Hollywood script; keep at it lad there's definitely an alternative career being carved for you there.
As for this week's guest lecture - I agree with Mayor...how could he get offended by those comments about his front page splash? And seriously, who would ever put snow chaos above a murder in terms of news worthiness? And if he’s really only 38 hell do I not want to be an editor – clearly puts years on you!
Although I think Law and PA aren’t going-in quite the way they should I’m cracking on a pace with Shorthand, surprising even myself with my progress, nailed a 70wpm this week and very close to getting 80 which after only 5 weeks is progress indeed.
Should have seen the smoke coming off my pen tonight as I tried to conduct a phone interview and get it down in shorthand; never seen paper combust so quickly or so spectacularly! Might have been something to do with my very enthusiastic interviewee who was on a roll with the Didsbury Beer Festival.
And as for Didsbury, how did we end up with that area for patch project? I thought Ashton was bad last time and now when I thought we’d nailed a good area – the University – we lost the quiz and had it stolen to be replaced by the aforementioned village. But then I found the Beer Festival was happening in next couple of weeks so that’s my story sorted wey hey!
Hang on, that paragraph back up there, oh dear, no, did I really just say 5 weeks have passed? That’s like 20% of the course gone! Already? Eek! Oh well, only 15 more weeks till I can go back to my well paid recruitment job then eh!
Gutted that I’ve still not ingratiated myself in the social side of News Associates yet, need to remedy that very soon before people start thinking I’m boring. Then again someone in the class did say “You’ve surprised me twice today Paddy” – not that I’m going to reveal why they were surprised. Well ok, one of them was the ‘pacemaker’ story but the other one is a state secret!
Need to nail some articles this weekend. Got Didsbury story to write up, Afflecks piece to finish (Ta Tamsin!), and need to crack on with Russ’s profile piece. Body bags, and breathing in plastic, I’m sure I can make an entertaining read out of that.
Knackered, Glad it’s Thursday, Wishing it was Friday, Scared how quick it’s going, Made loads of new friends, Long Days, Shit Commute, But....still LOVING IT! LARGE!
Danny Lockwood look out...someone’s coming for your crown! But on much less controversial lines. Of course, once I’ve won the lottery I’ll be buying him out but that’s another story...formulated in dream land.
AND...Still no fans" Definitely can't face a return trip to the Doctor, far too dangerous; roll on Winter!
AND...Still no fans" Definitely can't face a return trip to the Doctor, far too dangerous; roll on Winter!
TTFN Readers.
Monday, 27 September 2010
That's A Monday
http://mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/pie-ling-pounds-pakistan
There it is, my first article up since I started the course! I wrote the *cheesy* headline too, and think I'm slightly prouder of that than the actual article.
Had a good day today, one of a few in the class who managed 40wpm at 100%. I can get 50wpm too, and this is really my building block, so I'd have been mortified if I'd not passed this first "class test".
Talking of which, shorthand made me seem like a burke last week...
...was asked to do a 2 minute talk about something I'd achieved that day (Thursday), put on the spot, I, for once, was speechless and caught on-the-hop. And the only thing I could think I'd done that day was nail a 50wpm shorthand piece at 100%; so I promptly blurted that out in front of the whole class. I'm surprised I didn't get things thrown at me, I know enough people in the class are struggling with it. Oh well, ho hum!
There it is, my first article up since I started the course! I wrote the *cheesy* headline too, and think I'm slightly prouder of that than the actual article.
Had a good day today, one of a few in the class who managed 40wpm at 100%. I can get 50wpm too, and this is really my building block, so I'd have been mortified if I'd not passed this first "class test".
Talking of which, shorthand made me seem like a burke last week...
...was asked to do a 2 minute talk about something I'd achieved that day (Thursday), put on the spot, I, for once, was speechless and caught on-the-hop. And the only thing I could think I'd done that day was nail a 50wpm shorthand piece at 100%; so I promptly blurted that out in front of the whole class. I'm surprised I didn't get things thrown at me, I know enough people in the class are struggling with it. Oh well, ho hum!
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Being A Student : Parts 1-3
After a typical student weekend that included political meetings, football, beer, partying and lots of vodka I found myself trying to write shorthand at 4pm on Sunday. Think maybe I need to get my head round this out-of-hours studying lark. Never been much good at it previously. Then again some would say that is why I am where I am, but I’ll leave it to my mother to lead the prosecution’s case on that one!
Two weeks gone (or 10% if you prefer) already and quite scarily the shorthand teacher announced today that “we’ve covered all the basic theory”. Finished the book in other words. To be honest I’d almost lost the will to live at that point – studying anything in two and a half hour blocks is taxing at the best of times, never mind on a Monday morning. Then again one half an hour break in an 8 hour day could surely give the EU Work Time Directive a run for its money. No wonder one of the guys is on two cans of Relentless a day – I kid you not!
Prior to all this I had my first day on placement last Friday. I took the initiation test which involves being told “there are no jobs. And don’t believe those people who say the job market is on the way back up. It isn’t. For those jobs that are there, there are far too many qualified people. So don’t think you’re getting one. And just in case you somehow pull it off, don’t forget, the money’s rubbish. So don’t expect to live. Well, you can live. But you can’t visit Australia.” I batted this off with my usual “Yes, I know. And yes, it’s still what I want to do” He finished his cigarette went inside and ordered fish and chips. I followed suit (minus the fag) and figured I’d passed. Either that, or convinced him I was crazy enough to keep on until the end of January.
It would be so ironic if I was to find a job wouldn’t it. Personally I thought that’s why I was doing this!
It would be so ironic if I was to find a job wouldn’t it. Personally I thought that’s why I was doing this!
Need to crack on writing some articles for my portfolio this week. Got one in the pipeline now regarding the selection of the candidate to fight the local elections for the Labour party in Dewsbury West. Not that there’s any potential clash between my politics and my career. Not even now I’ve been elected as Constituency Press Officer, although that happened on Friday before the weekend’s beer kicked in.
IN OTHER NEWS...
Not been selected to attend the Labour Party Conference, which is a bit gutting; thinking of going to some of the fringe meetings around the city to dig out a story or two though.
Talking of which, I’ve yet to root out a Tory in the class – sure there must be one somewhere. There’s a surprising number of ‘socialists’ actually.
Got a log-in for the NCTJ website last night, logged in and promptly logged back out again; it has my abysmal scores on there from when I took the exams at uni. Not something to dwell on. Although the one I passed, they’re still making me re-take, despite telling me in interview I wouldn’t have to. But then again, that was the same interview where they said there’d be 20 people in the class. Maybe I was actually interviewed by a figment of someone else’s imagination and it didn’t really happen?
After lectures tomorrow we're having a quiz and drinks ‘in the building’ – hmm, watch out for drunken Facebook status updates somewhere around 8pm. And not just mine.
Oh, and I found the cool spot in the room. Suprisingly, it’s near a window. Only downside? The dreadlocked guy who decided to piss against the parked car at approximately 4pm. Some of the girls were a bit shocked when he turned back round, I didn’t dare ask why!!
Wednesday, 15 September 2010
A coffee fueled tour of Manchester (and more late trains)
If you’re ever lost in Manchester, you won’t go short of coffee.
Either I was going round in circles, or Manchester is home to all the world’s caffeine addicts. At one point I looked around to find Starbucks to my left, Costa dead ahead and Café Nero right next to Costa! How many coffee shops can one city take? My spontaneous walking tour this morning tells me at least eight. You can tell this isn’t Yorkshire – if it was they’d all be tea shops!
Of course for the cost of a beverage in one of these shops you could probably get a taxi to the place you were supposed to be going when you realised you were lost.
The smell is so inviting but I must resist, I’ve already had a tea AND a coffee today, anymore and I’ll be lost but in desperate need of a toilet. Not a good combination I don’t think. Then again, maybe these up market coffee shops have toilets themselves? The last one I went in did, but it was locked. And I needed to be sick. But back then I wasn’t lost. And I wasn't in Manchester.
Being lost can actually be quite liberating, you can go where you want at your own pace because no one is expecting you to be in a certain place at a certain time. I was supposed to be in a certain place at a certain time, namely the GMEX centre at 8.45 for the TUC Conference, but that was many hours ago, before the trains let me down again…
….you know it’s going to be a bad day when you get up early, to get an early train, and you arrive at the station before the early train you intend to catch, and the board tells you, early, that the train isn’t coming. Neither is the one after it, just like the one before it and the one before that. But the man who operates the information boards is having fun this morning. He doesn’t put cancelled or delayed on all the trains; oh no, he puts a time on some of them just to make you think one will turn up. Then, and only then, when it gets to the allotted time, does he type in the magic words on his computer to tell you that it’s not coming at all.
The helpful fella from the course told me to turn up at the Conference anyway, whenever the train got in. And I intended to, I really wanted to. But then I got lost.
I was quite looking forward to Mervyn King’s speech this morning, I like this bloke. Mainly because he supported Labour’s economic plans before they were summarily kicked out of office. I was hoping he’d tear the Con-Dem-Ed administration apart when he got going. But it doesn't look like he did, in fact he did that most un-public of things, he apologised. You can tell he's not a politician.
I was quite looking forward to Mervyn King’s speech this morning, I like this bloke. Mainly because he supported Labour’s economic plans before they were summarily kicked out of office. I was hoping he’d tear the Con-Dem-Ed administration apart when he got going. But it doesn't look like he did, in fact he did that most un-public of things, he apologised. You can tell he's not a politician.
He really should have had a go and got his kicks in early because there won’t be much of this governement left to kick when the Unions have had their feed this Winter. I hope.
Anyway I missed the speech and the conference because of the trains. But this time it wasn’t the train companies fault. Some scroat nicked the cable at Batley – personally, I hope he got electrocuted. Lets face it, that would be more of a punishment than anything he would get from British Justice.
Ps: They're buying some fans! Just to rub it in a bit more the girl sat by the window today complained she was cold so that's why the window was shut. While 5 of us on the otherside sweltered like we were in the Sahara. The Doctor said he was concerned about my weight before I started this course - I daren't go back now!
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
Late trains, sweaty rooms, broken speakers and a bit of speed dating
“Tuesday 7th September at 9:30am. Please arrive in plenty of time” screamed the email.
“Be on time every day and everyone’s a winner” makes it sound like some American kindergarten chant. But of course, at approximately 9.28 I was still on the train. A late train. Again. Every day I wake up and think today will be the day that the trains run on time; every day I am left with shattered dreams. To steal a line from Tim Booth, lead singer of James: "Gotta keep faith that your path will change, Gotta keep faith that your luck will change, Tomorrow". Now, where did I put that timetable?
By the way, do you know what’s worse than a late train?
A late train that runs slow!
Leaves on the line? No. Cable theft? No. Overhead line problems? No? Too hot/wet/cold/slippy/icy? No. Just slow. Slow as in S.L.O.W for no foreseeable reason. And we weren’t even treated to one of those faux-apology-announcements over the PA system – not that I’d have heard it with the Levellers attacking my ear drums – much too loud for this early on a morning!
For being late you get a special treat – the last seat in the room, or almost the last seat because someone came in after me, but I have no idea where she magicked a seat from because it sure wasn’t there when I looked – if it had been she’d have had no chance! Yeah, sit at the front, where everyone can see you and realise that you are the dumb ass who was almost late on the first day. But not as late as the girl who came after...
35 nervous people sitting down in a room, all doing that classic first-day-of-school thing i.e.: trying to look at everyone whilst making out you’re looking at no one. With all the blokes checking out who’s hot and who’s not, and the girls obviously doing the same although they wouldn’t admit it. Another thing - 35? 35? Seriously? 20 people you said at interview! I know at £3,000 a pop you want as many of us in as possible, but there are serious personal space issues going on here, I hope no one’s claustrophobic. Plus all those people in a room that hot, hmm, not good! Although £100,000 in the company bank accounts must look good eh? That would buy a hell of a lot of fans though - do you not realise how cheap they are these days?
First things first, an introduction to the course followed by a video. A video with sound that can’t be heard because the speakers are rubbish. So what shall we do? Bright idea Number 1: shut the windows. Either the person that chose to do that has ice in their veins or is on some kind of revolutionary sweat-it-out diet. I take it you didn't realise how hot it was in there before you shut those windows? Never mind afterwards!
Or were you just trying to give a couple of us heat stroke, in the hope that we would leave because you realised you over-subscribed the course?
Bright idea Number 2: plug the video into the computer with better speakers. Yes, if you’d done that to start with we could still have had the windows open couldn’t we?
Did I mention the refreshments? No shyness here; no sooner were the croissants, Pain~au~chocolat and juice on the table than they were gone. Typical students!
After that it was onto shorthand...letters, alphabet, special outlines and dictation. I had two different female shorthand tutors in three years at uni and neither of them got me close to 100wpm. But this fella thinks he’ll take me there in less than 5 months? Good Luck Pal, you have my very best wishes!
At least no-one did a Jennie Drury; copying the alphabet from the back of the book then claiming they already knew it. Most people were too bamboozled by all these symbols. I mean seriously, how many ways are there to write the letter A? Never mind E! And don't get me started on M!
I've never done speed-dating before, but that was the beginning of this afternoon's activities. Basically instead of doing the totally embarrasing stand up, "I'm Paul from Basildon with a fetish for blow up dolls and an unhealthy interest in Freddie Mercury", the idea is that you spill your best (worst?) bits to the person sat next to you, and they embarrass you instead, great eh? So according to Kieran I think it was, or maybe Kevin? I knew one of the 7/7 bombers, although only by sight and not by name he hastily reassured the class! No, that's not what I told him but it's what he told everyone else. Can we stick to the basics like age, name, football team next time please? Mention politics and pacemakers if you have to, but Bombers is a bit dark for 2 o clock in a room full of strangers. Do you want SWAT teams crawling down the windows? Fool!
Oh, roll on January 24th...
“Be on time every day and everyone’s a winner” makes it sound like some American kindergarten chant. But of course, at approximately 9.28 I was still on the train. A late train. Again. Every day I wake up and think today will be the day that the trains run on time; every day I am left with shattered dreams. To steal a line from Tim Booth, lead singer of James: "Gotta keep faith that your path will change, Gotta keep faith that your luck will change, Tomorrow". Now, where did I put that timetable?
By the way, do you know what’s worse than a late train?
A late train that runs slow!
Leaves on the line? No. Cable theft? No. Overhead line problems? No? Too hot/wet/cold/slippy/icy? No. Just slow. Slow as in S.L.O.W for no foreseeable reason. And we weren’t even treated to one of those faux-apology-announcements over the PA system – not that I’d have heard it with the Levellers attacking my ear drums – much too loud for this early on a morning!
For being late you get a special treat – the last seat in the room, or almost the last seat because someone came in after me, but I have no idea where she magicked a seat from because it sure wasn’t there when I looked – if it had been she’d have had no chance! Yeah, sit at the front, where everyone can see you and realise that you are the dumb ass who was almost late on the first day. But not as late as the girl who came after...
35 nervous people sitting down in a room, all doing that classic first-day-of-school thing i.e.: trying to look at everyone whilst making out you’re looking at no one. With all the blokes checking out who’s hot and who’s not, and the girls obviously doing the same although they wouldn’t admit it. Another thing - 35? 35? Seriously? 20 people you said at interview! I know at £3,000 a pop you want as many of us in as possible, but there are serious personal space issues going on here, I hope no one’s claustrophobic. Plus all those people in a room that hot, hmm, not good! Although £100,000 in the company bank accounts must look good eh? That would buy a hell of a lot of fans though - do you not realise how cheap they are these days?
First things first, an introduction to the course followed by a video. A video with sound that can’t be heard because the speakers are rubbish. So what shall we do? Bright idea Number 1: shut the windows. Either the person that chose to do that has ice in their veins or is on some kind of revolutionary sweat-it-out diet. I take it you didn't realise how hot it was in there before you shut those windows? Never mind afterwards!
Or were you just trying to give a couple of us heat stroke, in the hope that we would leave because you realised you over-subscribed the course?
Bright idea Number 2: plug the video into the computer with better speakers. Yes, if you’d done that to start with we could still have had the windows open couldn’t we?
Did I mention the refreshments? No shyness here; no sooner were the croissants, Pain~au~chocolat and juice on the table than they were gone. Typical students!
After that it was onto shorthand...letters, alphabet, special outlines and dictation. I had two different female shorthand tutors in three years at uni and neither of them got me close to 100wpm. But this fella thinks he’ll take me there in less than 5 months? Good Luck Pal, you have my very best wishes!
At least no-one did a Jennie Drury; copying the alphabet from the back of the book then claiming they already knew it. Most people were too bamboozled by all these symbols. I mean seriously, how many ways are there to write the letter A? Never mind E! And don't get me started on M!
I've never done speed-dating before, but that was the beginning of this afternoon's activities. Basically instead of doing the totally embarrasing stand up, "I'm Paul from Basildon with a fetish for blow up dolls and an unhealthy interest in Freddie Mercury", the idea is that you spill your best (worst?) bits to the person sat next to you, and they embarrass you instead, great eh? So according to Kieran I think it was, or maybe Kevin? I knew one of the 7/7 bombers, although only by sight and not by name he hastily reassured the class! No, that's not what I told him but it's what he told everyone else. Can we stick to the basics like age, name, football team next time please? Mention politics and pacemakers if you have to, but Bombers is a bit dark for 2 o clock in a room full of strangers. Do you want SWAT teams crawling down the windows? Fool!
Oh, roll on January 24th...
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